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"Salina"
Who
signed the last will and testament for her relationship
And neglected to check mark the DNR box?
She kept hope alive
through a breathing apparatus
Riddled with bed sores,
and cracked lifeless lips
She fostered a relationship
where there was none
Because sitting by the bedside of love
in a vegetable state
Was far easier than leaving the security
Of its hospital room,
'He won't hit me again'
she told me,
And I nodded because my persistence to the contrary
Had long since been ignored in prior episodes
And I couldn't think of an original way to say the same thing
'Its my own fault,
I shouldn't get so upset'
I almost spoke the words with her,
I memorized the song like pop music,
and I knew the correct response,
I've seen it in health books,
taught by Lifetime movies
but it doesn't work,
it's a Patti Labelle recipe
that never turns out like the picture
'He told me that he can still see us together in the future'
Haha..i almost laughed at that one,
But she looked at me with a half-smile and eyebrow raised
Not in question,
just waiting for me to say what she wanted to hear
And I did,
because I was tired of bludgeoning her ears with truth
I pampered her conscience,
because my Yelling faded away long ago
It had echoed in the space between us in conversation,
Ricocheting
waiting to be plucked from its cycle
And listened to.
so I resigned to murmuring consent,
'yeah, maybe he'll change'.
She missed the sarcasm,
smiled and turned up the radio,
She doesn't know the words,
she just thinks the beat is hot
What I never understood
is behind the smile of gratitude,
I always saw in her eyes
she didn't believe it herself.
The belief trapped noiselessly
banging on her blue contact lenses
Because he didn't like her brown eyes.
I blamed myself,
and hated myself for even attempting
to make it about myself.
Some of my friends always said
'yo f*ck it, she don't wanna listen,
that bitch gets what she deserves'
But I always keep my dustpan by the telephone
Ready to sweep up the pieces.
I marked off the days of pattern,
First she called to tell me how they were working things out
Then less frequently she called,
to talk about how good the sex was
Then the calls stopped,
and her instant messenger name
Brownsuger69
Became permanently grey in absence,
it reminded me of my grandmother's grey hair
combed for the last time
laid in her coffin.
I called her after several weeks,
but the phone was disconnected
Not because she couldn't afford the bill,
but she wasn't allowed to talk to other men.
The woman at the other end said,
the person you have called
Has been temporarily misdirected,
left misselected
chatted with the automated
response
and I left a message
maybe she would hear it,
see I should be a good counselor
cuz Ifve been that dude
I know the mindset,
but I couldn't protect her...
It was the strange phone number
on my cell phone
while out playing poker,
the silence
then the sniffle
then the sobs that spoke the loudest,
then I heard the tiny cries of the future,
a conception created where love was made
but off balance,
see she had put the phone to her stomach,
she was pregnant,
penetrated by his need to release semen
love was aborted with indifference
the moment his seed took hold,
see he didn't run away like the newspapers would have u believe,
he calmly ejaculated her out his house
and wiped his penis...
I saw her that night
we watched the cosby marathon
and I laughed extra hard so she would catch on,
contagious
and she smiled the whole nite,
not at my silliness,
but happy
that she had finally taken a piece of him...
"Salina"
© June 2006, ShadoKat
All rights reserved.
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BLACK
ON BLACK RHYME
ARTIST FEATURE SERIES
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Winner National Underground Spoken Word award for
Male Performer of the Year 2006. |
BIOGRAPHY
ShadoKat,
a New Jersey Native, first appeared on the spoken
word scene immediately making a run to the slam
semi-finals at the world famous Nuyorican Poets
Cafe in 2003. Since then his visual metaphors,
cynical humor, and hip-hop influenced style has
captured audiences from the United States to London,
England.
ShadoKat
exploded upon the spoken word and hip hop scene,
winning a 3rd place finish
in Apollo Theater's Nationally renowned Amateur
Night.
He was a performer on the progressive tour, "Hip
Hop for the People" which featured Ras Baraka
and was sponsored by Bill Cosby. He recorded
for the
cd which was scheduled for release in 2005 and
has recorded tracks for release in Australia
with Isis from the X-Clan. He has been featured
on stage
and opened for artists such as Stic Man from
Dead Prez, Black Ice, Saul Williams and Flo Brown.
Continuing
his performances, he was featured as a part of
the Hip-Hop Exhibit at City Without Walls Art
Gallery, in conjunction with the Muesum of African-American
Music in Newark, NJ
ShadoKat
garned overseas acclaim performing at Club Cargo in
London with notable UK Hip-Hop group, Foreign Beggars,
at DJ Rags Charity Bash. For the last 3 years he has
run a spoken word workshop for the Hudson County Urban
League Youth Convention. He has been featured as a
performer and lecturer at numerous colleges and universities
including Virginia Tech, Iona College, Bloomfield College,
Rutgers-Newark University, and Radford University.
ShadoKat
is a Nuyorican Poets Cafe Grand Slam Finalist in
2006, Urbana Poetry Grand Slam
Finalist in 2004,
Brick-City Grand Slam Finalist in 2005, and Central
Jersey Grand Slam Finalist in 2005. ShadoKat
was also the Last Man Standing Poetry Slam
Champion in 2005
in Baltimore, MD, and the 2005 Poetry Slam Champion
at the AFRAM Festival in Norfolk, VA. He competed
in the National Poetry Slam Competition
in 2005 as a member
of the Central Jersey Slam Team..
ShadoKat
recorded his first album live in front of a 300 plus
crowd, entitled Chained to the Mic', which was hailed
for its highly personal and emotional topics and captivating
lyrics. His poetry has been featured on many radio
shows including, Montclair State University, Virginia
State University, Rutgers University, North Carolina,
and CUNY. His highly anticipated cd Rebirth
of the Mic', was released at The Sugar Shack Cafe in April
2006. In that same month ShadoKat won the National
Underground Spoken word award for Male Performer of
the Year 2006. ShadoKat has Bachelor of Arts degree
in Black Studies and Creative Writing, and continues
his graduate studies at Fairleigh Dickinson University.
CURRENT
BODY OF WORKS
Albums
Rebirth of the Mic'
(2006)
Chained to the Mic' (2005)
Books
N/A
UPCOMING TOUR SCHEDULE
Jul 1 2006 8:00P
Soul Release Poetry
Jacksonville, FL
Jul 2 2006 1:00P
WHCJ Radio 90.3FM RADIO INTERVIEW
Savannah , GA
Jul 2 2006 8:00P
Club Vero44 "SUNDAY SESSIONS"
Savannah, GA
Jul 3 2006 8:00P
Mello Mondays @ The District
Miami, FL
Jul 4 2006 8:00P
Feat. @ Will's! Open Mic in Orlando
Orlando, FL
Jul 5 2006 8:00P
The Bohemian Room @ Power Studios
Miami, FL
Contact:
(908)963-0247
ShadoKatNJ@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/shadoKatnj
www.GenerationInk.com
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"ShadoKat"
All rights reserved. © 2006
Bio excerpts by ShadoKat |
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